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Myths Your Teacher Hated Podcast

This is the Myths Your Teach Hated, a bi-weekly podcast where I tell the stories of cultures around the world in all of their original, bloody, uncensored glory. Modern tellings of these stories have become dry and dusty, but I’ll be trying to breathe new life into them.
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Myths Your Teacher Hated Podcast
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Now displaying: Page 1
Oct 16, 2021

This week on MYTH, we’re headed back to the primordial mists of creation itself in a listener suggestion episode.  You’ll learn that you should never piss off a giant lion goddess, that the Eye of Sauron needs to step up its game, and that dyeing your beer can be a religious experience.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll meet the OG phoenix.

Oct 2, 2021

This week on MYTH, we’re getting down and dirty with one of the best-known stories ever told.  You’ll see that you should never piss off magic fairies (or birds), that trees are almost as good as mothers, and that princes can’t recognize anybody.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see that even friendly hippos are jerks.

Sep 17, 2021

This week on MYTH, we’ll finally reach the long-awaited conclusion to our epic journey.  You’ll discover that Odysseus doesn’t trust anybody, that Penelope is a good match for her returned husband, and that there’s always time for just a little more brutal violence.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn the mythological origins of the Ghost of Sparta.

Sep 3, 2021

This week on MYTH, it’s the penultimate episode of the Odyssey, and things are going to get bloody.  You’ll see why you shouldn’t let a beggar play suitor games, why you shouldn’t let a servant into your chimney, and why you shouldn’t let a goddess perch in your rafters.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s the story behind Odysseus’ famous bow.

Aug 21, 2021

This week on MYTH, things are finally approaching the bloody finale with only three episodes left.  You’ll discover that siblings always have similar sounding names, that people like to throw things at Odysseus, and that getting your feet washed is a good way to get caught.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s basically a Shakespearean tragedy - for reals.

Aug 7, 2021

This week on MYTH, Odysseus is going to have a chance to size up the competition.  You’ll discover that it’s hard out there for a beggar, that some things are too cruel even for the other villains, and that everyone is ready to murder the suitors.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn how seven stars can become six in only 100,000 years.

Jul 24, 2021

This week on MYTH, it’s a long overdue reunion, tender and tearful.  You’ll see that if you want murder done you should probably do it yourself, that Odysseus is very confident in his battle skills, and that Penelope can only take so much before she loses it.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s the towering bronze giant standing between you and your Cretan vacation.

Jul 10, 2021

This week on MYTH, we’ll have tests and omens and portents, oh my.  You’ll discover that you can read the future in a bird’s dinner, that Odysseus likes to test the people helping him, and that pirates are a real problem.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, be vewy vewy quiet - we’we hunting...evewything.

Jun 26, 2021

This week on MYTH, Odysseus is home.  You’ll see that Athena is finally ready to come clean, that Odysseus can be shockingly oblivious, and that swineherds are the best people.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll discover why you should never be the lookout for a cheating god.

Jun 12, 2021

This week on MYTH, Odysseus will finally catch a real break in his attempts to get home.  You’ll see that random prophecies are never actually random, that magic sleep is the best sleep, and that Poseidon hates public transit.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn that it’s wrong to throw a baby off a mountain.

May 29, 2021

This week on MYTH, Odysseus is going to find help in unexpected places.  You’ll see that it’s a bad idea to creep around a princess, that sometimes hiding is easy, and what to do if someone asks you if you’re a god.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, Zeus is going to get freaky with a cow instead of as one.

May 15, 2021

This week on MYTH, Odysseus is getting wrecked.  You’ll see that scarves are the perfect accessory, that leaves make a great bed but not a great outfit, and that Odysseus would kill for a fig leaf.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see why you should never trust infants.

May 1, 2021

This week on MYTH, it’s time for Odysseus to make a final push towards home.  You’ll see that Odysseus is a liar, that not all goddesses are jealous, and that rafts can be fancy.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it doesn’t pay to brag about how many kids you have.

Apr 17, 2021

This week on MYTH, Telemachus’ secret is about to get out.  You’ll discover that you really shouldn’t blame a slave for what a prince does, that the suitors are really bad at being villains, and that talking in your sleep can be helpful.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see what happens when you piss off a naked Artemis.

Apr 3, 2021

This week on MYTH, Telemachus is finally going to catch up on some of what you already know.  You’ll see that bulls can agree to be sacrificed, that Helen has a stash of happy drugs, and that everyone likes Odysseus as long as they don’t have to be around him.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s Europe’s origin story.

Mar 20, 2021

This week on MYTH, Telemachus is going to be a little bit all over the place.  You’ll discover you can be an expert in bird omens, that Penelope is crafty in every sense of the word, and that it’s important to know when you’re talking to a goddess.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll journey into the distant past to witness the birth of that goddess.

Mar 6, 2021

This week on MYTH, it’s finally time to meet Odysseus’ long-abandoned son and see how things are going back on the home front.  You’ll discover that wannabe stepdads are the worst, that absentee fathers make it hard to be well-adjusted, and that Athena is a master of disguise.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see the lengths that some gods will go to in order to thank sexy men the naughty way.

Feb 19, 2021

This week on MYTH: beef.  It’s what’s for dinner.  You’ll see that you should really listen to magical warnings, that stealing from gods is a bad idea, and that there’s never a good time for a nap.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll discover why deadbeat dads and magical horses are a deadly combination.

Feb 5, 2021

This week on MYTH, it’s a dysfunctional Valentine’s Day special for a dysfunctional year.  You’ll learn why you should say no to vegetables, what lions are scared of, and how to leave a room with no doors.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see why you should be careful who you marry.

Jan 22, 2021

This week on MYTH, we’ll try to survive a trio of murderous monsters.  You’ll see that Odysseus was a bondage enthusiast, that Odysseus was a music lover, and that Odysseus doesn’t always say the right thing.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s time for a double helping of sea monster origin story.

Jan 9, 2021

This week on MYTH, we’re going back into the sunless abyss to meet our heroes.  You’ll discover that Heracles can be in two places at once, that you don’t have to stop holding a grudge just ‘cause you’re dead, and that human paradise can be animal hell.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet a giant who’s mostly famous for being the villain in someone else’s story.

Dec 26, 2020

This week on MYTH, Odysseus is going to meet a lot of people who are mostly dead.  You’ll see that the reception line in hell takes forever, that even dead mothers are good at guilting their children, and that swords work great on ghosts.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn how to get whatever you want with one simple trick.

Dec 12, 2020

This week on MYTH, it’s once again time for the annual holiday special!  You’ll learn why spiders are good luck, why you should use more cobwebs in your Christmas decorating, and why you should plant a tree in your living room.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll want to finish your chores on time so that the Christmas Witch doesn’t come for you in your sleep.

Nov 28, 2020

This week on MYTH, it’s time to drink the night away and then some.  You’ll see that some people want to get home more than others, that drinking yourself sick eventually gets old, and that you shouldn’t pass out on the roof.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll discover the creepy story behind a simple instrument.

Nov 14, 2020

This week on MYTH, we’ll link back up with Odysseus and his single surviving ship for the next leg of the Odyssey.  You’ll see that it’s a bad idea to split the party, that pigs make bad soldiers, and that sometimes you have to fight poison with poison.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet a deadly viper that survived an encounter with Helen of Troy.

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