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Myths Your Teacher Hated Podcast

This is the Myths Your Teach Hated, a bi-weekly podcast where I tell the stories of cultures around the world in all of their original, bloody, uncensored glory. Modern tellings of these stories have become dry and dusty, but I’ll be trying to breathe new life into them.
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Myths Your Teacher Hated Podcast
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Now displaying: 2019
Dec 28, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’re going to play around with fireworks.  You’ll see that gods have a lot of free time, that red is super scary, and that the new year is a time for monsters.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see that sometimes vomiting can be a good thing.

Dec 13, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’ll settle in front of a roaring fire for a traditional Christmas horror story.  You’ll see that Santa is is no real hurry to help out children, that you should definitely believe all local rumors, and that Santa used to have some weird powers.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll get candy and beatings depending on if you’ve been impish or adorable.

Nov 29, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’re gonna take another jaunt off to Giant Land in Brazil.  You’ll learn that stupid is as stupid does, that impulse shopping is always a good idea, and that you should always believe impossible claims.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet a sassy magical crocodile in a blonde wig.

Nov 16, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’re going to meet Loki. No, not that Loki.  Well, maybe that Loki. You’ll see that competitive drinking is a godly sport, that cats have always been impossible to pick up if they don’t want to, and that you should never wrestle old women.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn how a goddess turned sex with a giant into a new kingdom and king.

Nov 1, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’ll meet a Filipino demigod that would fit in pretty well with the Greeks.  You’ll discover that you’re right not to trust your parents, that alligators make great boats, and that ghosts like to collect weird things.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll meet a terrifying ghoul that can only be kept at bay by bringing a knife to a maternity ward.

Oct 21, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’ll descend into a surprisingly grisly Serbian love story.  You’ll see that the dead are restless, that rivers can be murder, and that kings can’t be trusted with magical swords.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll find out why you should be very, very afraid of hearing ‘boo’ from the shadows.

Oct 6, 2019

This week on MYTH, it’s off to the Pacific Northwest for a tale from the First Peoples of the Americas.  You’ll learn that Pinocchio was a bird before he was a puppet, that whales and ravens are cousins, and that you should be careful who you let into your mouth.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet the deadly cannibal offspring of furry lovin’.

Sep 20, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’re headed back to western Africa for a rather unique tale.  You’ll learn that there’s no shame in needing a little help, that the right music can make a crocodile cry, and that the undead are weird.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet the deadly vampire disguised as summer fun.

Sep 7, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’ll be spending time with some powerful, dangerous women.  You’ll see that maybe you shouldn’t bother random women with requests for a kiss, that fairies aren’t as friendly as they seem, and that you should always bring snacks on a road trip.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see why dancing after dark can be deadly.

Aug 23, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’re covering a super-old story because you asked for it.  You’ll learn that greed is bad, that even the Greeks stole some of their stories, and that some underworlds just aren’t as nice as others.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet a snake-monster that was the wind beneath the hydra’s wings.

Aug 9, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’ll make our first foray into Korea.  You’ll learn why rabbits don’t like to swim, why you should never accept a ride from a talking turtle, and why you can’t use fake eyes in medicine.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet a tricky spirit with a love of games and a great big magic stick.

Jul 26, 2019

This week on MYTH, it’s time to kill a god.  Well, sort of. You’ll learn that some gods have massive wood, that Osiris probably has claustrophobia, and that zombie sex is the best.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet the angry monkey who uses his penis in creative ways.

Jul 12, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’ll hop a magic carpet ride to a whole new world.  You’ll learn that not all genies are created equal, that long-lost relatives are not to be trusted, and that sometimes being bad can get you everything you want.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll go giant bird watching.

Jun 28, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’ll travel to the old kingdom of Hindustan for one of the stupidest couple fights ever.  You’ll find out that jackals and tigers sound a lot alike, that gemstones come from surprising places, and that the gallows is a bad place to meet women.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll look for bigfoot in the wilds of Pakistan.

Jun 14, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’ll discover a cure for blindness in the jungles of Brazil.  You’ll discover that random old strangers give the best advice, that giving spoiled teens a lot of money is a stupid idea, and that some dangers never really materialize.  Then, in a listener-suggestion Gods and Monsters, we’ll discover the secrets of the dancing dust devils.

Jun 2, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’re finally going to resolve all of the loose threads in this tangled story.  This is the ninth and final episode in our telling of the classic French tale, Beauty and the Beast.  You’ll see that no one is ever truly gone, that turning into a snake is apparently super scary, and that no one should be surprised that queens are classist.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet the powerful fairy king stolen by Shakespeare.

May 17, 2019

This week on MYTH, Belle is going to play some high-stakes hide and seek.  This is the eighth episode in our telling of the classic French tale, Beauty and the Beast.  You’ll learn why you should always believe in your dreams, that bowls hold water better than your hands, and that love is really, really complicated.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll head up into the Alps to hunt a mysterious goat.

May 3, 2019

This week on MYTH, Belle’s spending the summer in the big city.  This is the seventh episode in our telling of the classic French tale, Beauty and the Beast.  You’ll see that you can totally go home again, that sibling rivalry never dies, and that young, pretty men are assholes.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll meet the black cat who’ll either kill you or make you rich.

Apr 19, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’ll discover a whole new world of invasion of privacy.  This is the sixth episode in our telling of the classic French tale, Beauty and the Beast.  You’ll see that questions can be dangerous, that peeping isn’t creepy if you’re rich, and that mirrors can totally reflect sound over hundreds of miles.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s time to meet a scarier tabletop monster than the demogorgon from Stranger Things.

Apr 5, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’ll get to see a little more of this magical prison.  This is the fifth episode in our telling of the classic French tale, Beauty and the Beast.  You’ll discover why you need a monkey butler, that parrots can outshine Pavarotti, and that the direct approach isn’t always the best.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn why it pays to be courteous to strange white ladies in the forest even if they don’t have cell phones.  

Mar 22, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’ll finish our aside with the Queen and the Fairy and we’ll meet up with Belle as she sacrifices herself.  This is the fourth episode in our telling of the classic French tale, Beauty and the Beast. You’ll learn that it’s rude to call someone ugly, that executions can be festive, and that you should learn to pack light.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet a pair of horribly sexist man-eating monsters.

Mar 9, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’re going to travel deep into fairy country.  This is the third episode in our telling of the classic French tale, Beauty and the Beast.  You’ll learn that you should never trust ugly people, that badass warrior queens can have tender sides, and that you can learn everything you need to know from a library and a fairy.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll meet a deadly water-breathing dragon that also made a splash in the world of architecture.

Feb 22, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’ll learn what horrid fate lies in store for the merchant confronted with the horrible Beast.  This is the second episode in our telling of the classic French tale, Beauty and the Beast. You’ll learn that the Beast is something of a stickler for etiquette, that consent matters even to monsters, and that no one can hate you quite like your own sibling.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet the shape shifting horror lurking in the French countryside, but also in the swamps of Louisiana.

Feb 8, 2019

This week on MYTH, it’s time to ruin another Disney classic with a peek behind the scenes.  This is the first episode in our telling of the classic French tale, Beauty and the Beast. You’ll learn that Disney skipped over an absurd amount of backstory, that finders keepers doesn’t apply to real estate, and that you should really have homeowners insurance.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll discover why you shouldn’t trust that oddly friendly horse you met in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere.

Jan 26, 2019

This week on MYTH, it’s off to jolly old England for a classical tale of knights and dragons.  You’ll see that you should never kidnap a cat, that even Satan has favorite pets, and that cleverness can keep you out of Hell.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet the ghostly apparition of a long dead army.

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