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Myths Your Teacher Hated Podcast

This is the Myths Your Teach Hated, a bi-weekly podcast where I tell the stories of cultures around the world in all of their original, bloody, uncensored glory. Modern tellings of these stories have become dry and dusty, but I’ll be trying to breathe new life into them.
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Myths Your Teacher Hated Podcast
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Sep 20, 2020

This week on MYTH, it’s an ancient PSA on the dangers of drugs.  You’ll learn that you should never overstay your welcome, that you should just say no to the lotus, and that real friends will drag you home no matter what you want.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll dip into the darker side of the god of wine.

Sep 6, 2020

This week on MYTH, we’re heading back to the shores of defeated Troy for the first story in Odysseus’ epic story.  You’ll see that no one hates you like family, that wrestling old men is hard, and that you can herd seals.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll learn the gruesome origins of...wine?

Aug 22, 2020

This week on MYTH, we’ll meet the deadly Chinese cross-dressing warrior.  You’ll discover that Mulan was way more of a badass than Disney let on, that you should never rescue a chauvinist, and that bandits make great kings.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn why you should never go swimming in the dark.

Aug 7, 2020

This week on MYTH, we’ll head into the old growth forests of the Pacific Northwest for some encounters with terrifying monsters.  You’ll learn that you should never let kids play near a lake, that monsters are not your friend, and that body horror isn’t new.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet a silent terror in the Dead Zone.

Jul 25, 2020

This week on MYTH, we’re off to the rocky crags of Tibet for a story with all the makings of the next hit Disney movie.  You’ll see that murder makes great medicine, that children should definitely trust strange old men in caves, and that snakes aren’t as cold-blooded as royalty.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn how to use a giant cobra as an umbrella.

Jul 11, 2020

This week on MYTH, we will fight death with the power of music.  You’ll learn that you should always follow the directions, that rock stars have always been sexy, and that music hath charms to soothe the savage beast and/or breast.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, the moon is getting kidnappy again.

Jun 27, 2020

This week on MYTH, we’re headed back to Latvia to catch up with our bear-slaying hero.  You’ll discover why you should never explore dark caves alone, why morning wood can bring you home safely, and why you should never eat a witch’s cooking.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll meet the ghost of a child who will definitely give you nightmares.

Jun 13, 2020

This week on MYTH, it’s an old, old listener suggestion tale.  You’ll see that water can get you pregnant, that you should never trust creepy men carrying fruit, and that a penis makes a great digging tool.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll meet the ancient aliens responsible for humanity.

May 29, 2020

This week on MYTH, we’re going to dive into the weird world of history for a strange local legend.  You’ll learn if England’s favorite pirate was also a witch, if you can stop a wedding with a cannonball, and if you can save the country with a drum.  Then, in a listener-suggested Gods and Monsters, you’ll meet an old vampire...rabbit?

May 16, 2020

This week on MYTH, we’ll quest for eternal life!  You’ll learn that people will give you gifts for not marrying them, that charm will get you everywhere, and that one man’s curse is another man’s fantasy.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet the three forms of a demon sex chicken that might look like your dead spouse.

May 1, 2020

This week on MYTH, we’ll watch a god go a little stir-crazy due to living in total isolation.  You’ll learn that you should never trust anyone who lives in the sky, that palm trees can grow on the moon, and that the only thing worse than living alone is being stuck in a tiny space with a huge family.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see that the water isn’t the only place that isn’t safe from Jaws.

Apr 18, 2020

This week on MYTH, Satan is going to get very hands-on.  You’ll see that giant monsters are very intimidating, that being God’s favorite can be a bad thing, and that tornadoes might kill your family or they might just yell at you.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet the scaly monster used to scare a Pharaoh.

Apr 3, 2020

This week on MYTH, we’ll dance back into the magical world of Hans Christian Andersen.  You’ll discover why poor kids shouldn’t want nice things, why you should never trust a compliment, and why you should never dance.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll discover the version of Toy Story that was depressing kids over a century before Buzz and Woody.

Mar 21, 2020

This week on MYTH, we’ll celebrate the luck of the Irish in a more authentic way than green beer.  You’ll discover why salmon is good for you, why you should never play sports, and why druids make bad fathers.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll meet the mischievous inspiration behind Shakespeare’s most famous trickster.

Mar 7, 2020

This week on MYTH, we’re going to meet the best Latvian folk hero you’ve never heard of.  You’ll learn that matching chariot to god is super easy, that even gods aren’t all powerful, and that you can find the weirdest stuff in wood.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see what happens when you mix Hades with Satan.

Feb 23, 2020

This week on MYTH, death awaits you all - with nasty, big, pointy teeth!  You’ll discover that Monty Python was right about how deadly rabbits are, that deer are thieves, and that you can’t trust a musician.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet the Mayan cross between Dracula and Batman.

Feb 8, 2020

This week on MYTH, it’s time for the Valentine’s Day special!  You’ll see why you shouldn’t bother a woman who doesn’t want to talk to you, that magical death plants are apparently super common, and that you should never trust mysterious old women.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn that gazelles are more dangerous than you thought.

Jan 24, 2020

This week on MYTH, we’ll get into the age-old rivalry between giants and ogres  You’ll learn that the bugs get big in Italy, that pride goeth before a stupid bet, and that being royal doesn’t make you a good dad.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet the beautiful, magical women from outside.

Jan 11, 2020

This week on MYTH, we’ll meet some evil demon twins.  You’ll discover that disguised gods are dangerous, that immortality is tricky, and that monsters always show up in the weirdest places.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn the tragic legend of a sweet flatbread.

Dec 28, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’re going to play around with fireworks.  You’ll see that gods have a lot of free time, that red is super scary, and that the new year is a time for monsters.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see that sometimes vomiting can be a good thing.

Dec 13, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’ll settle in front of a roaring fire for a traditional Christmas horror story.  You’ll see that Santa is is no real hurry to help out children, that you should definitely believe all local rumors, and that Santa used to have some weird powers.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll get candy and beatings depending on if you’ve been impish or adorable.

Nov 29, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’re gonna take another jaunt off to Giant Land in Brazil.  You’ll learn that stupid is as stupid does, that impulse shopping is always a good idea, and that you should always believe impossible claims.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet a sassy magical crocodile in a blonde wig.

Nov 16, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’re going to meet Loki. No, not that Loki.  Well, maybe that Loki. You’ll see that competitive drinking is a godly sport, that cats have always been impossible to pick up if they don’t want to, and that you should never wrestle old women.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn how a goddess turned sex with a giant into a new kingdom and king.

Nov 1, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’ll meet a Filipino demigod that would fit in pretty well with the Greeks.  You’ll discover that you’re right not to trust your parents, that alligators make great boats, and that ghosts like to collect weird things.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll meet a terrifying ghoul that can only be kept at bay by bringing a knife to a maternity ward.

Oct 21, 2019

This week on MYTH, we’ll descend into a surprisingly grisly Serbian love story.  You’ll see that the dead are restless, that rivers can be murder, and that kings can’t be trusted with magical swords.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll find out why you should be very, very afraid of hearing ‘boo’ from the shadows.

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